"Love" at first was named "To Find The Way" but once I came to the end of the story I realized that that was not a suitable name for the piece. Seeing that towards the end it was not himself that found the way but Christ had found him. The scripture says that "For I have chosen you"; for we have not chosen God, but God has chosen us. The story at first had not even been a story but had originated with me thinking of my future husband and his past--his story. And then in some way it turned into this tragedy that replayed over and over again in my mind. From the hood life of the streets, then to sexual abuse, and then to the indescribable pain and depression. But as this story continued to flow through my mind over the course of months I saw this revival. I saw God work in this boy's life, because after the story started to flow the fact that this had started from me thinking about my future husband disappeared. After about maybe 2-3 months I realized that this story must be written. So I proceeded to copy the story as it flowed through my head. The amazing thing about it was that I never received writers block for more than a week. That's how profusely the story was spilling from my pen. I think also the fact that I was truly involved in the story helped in the fast finishing of the story. The fact that I could feel him, feel his pain, his anger, and could truly sympathize with him. Several times during this story I cried and several times my chest filled with anger and then sickness. I can honestly say that I felt all of the pain that he felt though probably not to the extremity that he had--felt.
And really--I do feel that God had his part in this story because at the beginning of this summer I came down on my left ankle and was out for the remainder of the summer basketball season. During every summer, basketball being my other passion, I would walk to the rec center and stay from 10 or 12 to 6 in the evening. But because of my injury I no longer could walk to the rec center and so I was confined to my house. The funny thing about it, is that as every teen I feel as though nothing can hurt me. And yet it really was true because I'd fallen many times before and injured myself but always came back the next second. Never had I been knocked out for 2 whole months and 3 weeks with an injury. But due to it I finished the book in pretty much four months, because I had started on it I believe 2 months before school ended and finished the book on August 6. Truly I believe it was God's doing.
"Love" contains much degrading speech to women, men, and whites and blacks due to the urban setting in which the story takes place. The book has been written this way to help paint a picture of how the main character and his friends situation is so serious, and also to add a contrast of the lifestyle which comes at the end of the story. Along with the realization of the degrading lifestyle in which the main characters were leading. This does not necessarily represent the views of I the author, especially the racist comments and slurs throughout the story. But it is only there to represent the mindset of the main character. Along with the sexual scenes, since this is a sexual abuse story, they are there only to describe and to shed some light on the outrageous-ness of the crime and the deadly, destructive consequences from it. And lastly the violence throughout the story was thought through thoroughly and was determined that it must be included to again paint a picture of how crazy, delusional, and numb to all care and feeling the main character was. Hopefully this forewarning will be greatly appreciated by the readers reading this book.
I prayed about a month into the book realizing that it was by God that I had this story running in my mind and I now will pray again. This "about the book" was written several months ago, and so many things have happened. Currently I am in a very, very low point in my Christian walk and am struggling literally hour by hour to come back to Christ. I'll just leave it at that... But my opinion is the same concerning this book that it was when I first wrote it. It needs to be read. This story needs to be told. And that is why I have pulled myself with great difficulty out of my slump/depression to finish what I started. I pray that this book to whoever may read it will not become hung up on the degrading speech, violence, and sex, but will be able to see it for what it is and receive the true meaning from the book. That of the love that Christ gives, free of charge, to anyone despite what you've done or who you are. I pray that God be glorified in this and that those reading the book will be touched, but then more than touched--be astounded by the glory of God in the book. And if not believers themselves that they too will become saved.
All glory to God.
